I feel like trimesters are called trimesters because they
are trying.
This whole pregnancy thing feels quite trying right now and
I feel so guilty saying this because I know so many women who wish with all
they have that they could be pregnant but- I hate it.
I cannot stop being sick. Morning sickness is a lie, it is
not the morning, it is all day and all night.
I know different people get different degrees of ‘morning’
sickness but I feel like this is beyond a joke. I have had days where I have
laid down on the sofa all day, only moving to vomit. I cant eat the things I
want to, I cant drink my beloved coffee from my beautiful new coffee machine I
got for Christmas, I cant even stand the smell coffee without getting the mouth
sweats… its just dire.
I feel like people tell you you're going to get sick at the
start of pregnancy but I feel like no one ever prepares you for what that
sickness is like. For me, it is not like just feeling sicky round the edges, it
is like the worst hangover I have ever had, all day, everyday. It completely
takes over day to day life. I am trying to go to work and I have to pull over
my car on the way, I’m trying to teach a particularly challenging student the
difference between prejudice and discrimination and all the while just trying
not to throw up on his shoes. No one tells you about this. So I will.
I’m telling you all, there is no way to prepare for the
ultimate take over of your body by pregnancy.
When you feel like your skin is the colour of a stone and
people cheerily ask you “Have you tried Ginger Biscuits?!” it is difficult not
to scream. I’ve lost count of the number of remedies I have tried, the number
of Pinterest boards I’ve trawled, nothing really takes the edge off. Everyone
is different and I hear lots of people have success with things like mint tea
and ginger biscuits and eating little and often but for me, nothing is helping.
Aside from constant vomiting, there's the sorest breasts you
may have ever had and the brown coloured spotting. (sorry TMI maybe?) Apparently, despite every
lesson you've ever been taught, you can experience bleeding in pregnancy.
** Please note- not everyone does, I'm sure lots of people
don’t, just like lots of people don’t get sick, please be mindful that this is
by no means a medical blog, simply just about my personal experiences. **
So here I am thinking this is great 9 months no bleeding,
get rid of the Always! Well I was wrong. I had a couple of instances of
bleeding; firstly when I initially found out I was pregnant. I thought that
this was my period but actually what it is likely to have been is “ImplantationBleeding” (another thing no one ever tells you about) and then I bled again
when my next period would have been due. On both occasions I visited the Early
Pregnancy Unit where an internal scan proved that everything was doing okay in
there and I wasn’t miscarrying. Something I was actually really relieved about.
Despite my initial reluctance to accept being pregnant, it was these scans that
enlightened me to my own emotional connection to what was growing in there and
that I really really wanted this to work out. Who knew ey!?
Here is a little picture of pip I got when I had an internal scan in the Early Pregnancy Unit. The first time I really connected with anything inside me was after seeing this picture. Its funny isn't it, it's just a little blob really!
Anyway, as much as I want this little orange pip in there to thrive and grow, I desperately want to stop feeling like shit. People tell me 12 weeks is the place to be and I’ll get there and feel great. Well, here’s hoping.
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