I've been quiet on the blog recently, I'm sorry for that. I've been feeling a bit blue and tired and hot and generally quite fed up. I've been wrapping things up at work for the summer holidays...and maternity leave... and redundancy... so as you can imagine, its been a bit chaotic. This is a post that I guess is pregnancy related, but more just about what has been swimming round my head the last few weeks.
I haven't really talked too much about my job on here, a lot of what I do isn't really appropriate for sharing on the internet but as a general summary I am (was?) a Senior Lecturer at a Life Skills College for Autistic teenagers. Its a tough job and has dramatically changed since my pregnancy as due to some behavioural difficulties some of our young people have, it has not always been safe for me to be working and teaching in the same way. So, for the last 8 months I have been pretty much desk bound, at one point even being moved to a different site to keep safe.
I've found it really difficult to be at my job but not doing my full job and a few months ago we were told that the college would be ceasing to deliver education (aka closing down.) This was such a huge blow for us all as it meant relocating our students and a lot of people losing their jobs. We said our goodbyes on Friday just gone and the run up to that was such a challenge. The provision was so good, its such a shame we had to close and of course it is all down to money. I feel so sad in my heart that my college is gone, I worked so bloody hard with my team to build it up and make it an amazing place for these young people to thrive and thats it, its over.
As a Pregnito, I am in a different situation to some of my colleagues. Many of them had contracts ending at the end of July and mine runs August to August so things were different in that respect but also because of maternity leave. As my maternity leave start date was due to begin within my contract (it officially begins August 22nd, until then its just annual leave for me) the organisation is obligated to continue with this and therefore pay me accordingly. I don't have any kind of fancy maternity package, I haven't worked there long enough, so it is 90% pay for 6 weeks and then down to statutory maternity pay from then on until about April/ May kind of time when I was originally planning on returning to work. Well, now that won't happen unless the organisation suddenly decides to have some kind of education provision again. Which it won't.
This poses the question of What Next? Well obviously a baby is next and that was always going to happen for me in September whether the college was delivering a provision or not so my What Next will come in the Spring time.
The impression I get from the letters I have received is I will call up and say "Hi I'd like to come back to work now please" and they will say "Sorry, it does not exist, we need to give you your three month notice of redundancy" and then that will be that. End of employment.
Now, all is not doom and gloom, this is exciting, I can pick what I want to do. I will know more in the spring what I am capable of as a mother and as a human and will be able to think okay, how many hours a week can I work? How much childcare is there? What do I even want to do!?
I have always always always wanted to do an MA in Art Psychotherapy, maybe I can do that? Maybe I can restore and upcycle furniture? Maybe I can sew things? Maybe I will be a SENCO? Maybe I will teach part time? Maybe I will open a community art cafe and employ people with disabilities? Maybe I will write a book? All these options are all very real and actually, thats exciting!!
This is a tragedy for some, for many, particularly the students but actually, for me, there is so much more exciting things left to come. This is my new beginning and although the last three weeks have been exhausting mentally and physically I know that now its finished, the door is closing, but only on that chapter. I have so much left to do to finish the story of Plum and Me (and Mr Plum of course) :)
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| This is by one of my favourite poets Tyler Knott Gregson. Seemed very apt. |
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