We're Back!

HERE. SHE. COMES!

I have not blogged for two years and I can honestly say it is because I disappeared. Mentally, just disappeared. My brain became Annora. EWB- for the most part- just failed to exist.

It has been the wildest two years of my life and I still dont know where my feet are. The last 8 weeks or so I am just coming back to (medicated) life and what better time to get back on the blog!?
Now, I feel like maybe if I had blogged my journey more it could have helped (maybe me, maybe others) but in all honesty, I dont think it would have made for very nice reading. It's that classic thing of if you cant say something nice, don't say anything at all...

So here we are, back in business. Maybe a little summary is in order?!



So we moved house- twice. What a faff that is with a baby, what an absolute shit load of junk you gather when you have a kid! We have moved what feels like a hundred times in our little married life and believe me we already have so much stuff it is almost unpleasant. I really did underestimated the sheer volume of 'things' you seem to have when you have a child.
We now have a little two bedroom terraced house and a storage unit full to bursting. Marie Kondo anyone...?! Watch this space, maybe I'll get a minute to do that, any tips are welcomed!

Annora Bird went from tiny baby, to little toddler, to full on sass machine. She is WILD. I love her so much it hurts my head but goodness me toddlers are a challenge! She talks and talks and talks and when she had her two year check they were surprised by how much and said she had communication skills of a 3-4 year old. What a laugh, especially when she rolls her foots and yells "Oh fuck!" or gets cross with me and makes me apologise to her toy in front of an audience of parents outside the nursery because I put it into the car before she was ready "Mummy, no! That's not kind! Say you're sorry!"
In all seriousness though, she is the absolute light of my life. She is so funny I cant bear it, but with her humour is intelligence and kindness and my god she is brave. She is exactly the sort of daughter I hoped to be raising.

I've now settled into being back at work, I work a nine day fortnight meaning I have every other friday off. It's a busy job that can be draining to manage with a two year old but I like it and I'm doing it and it's working financially so it is what it is. I'd love to be home schooling Bird, not working and staying home with her but in reality, I actually think it wouldn't work for me. I find that going to work keeps my head on straight. Having routine, structure and confidence in what I am doing really important for me and these can be found (sort of!) at work.

Bird,  finally stopped feeding at 27 months. We night weaned when she was just past her second birthday and then she weaned naturally from there and as lovely as it was to be nurturing and loving for her I am so glad it is over. I would have liked to have stopped sooner but genuinely didn't know how to. Its funny, there's all this support to start your feeding journey but then nothing when you want to end it! In the end Mr WB stepped in and helped me and I'm so grateful he did.

I still don't eat/drink a morsel of milk. In theory, now Bird isn't feeding, I could have milk again but actually I have found that when I do it gives me such a poorly tummy, it isn't worth it. I've adapted to life without so what would be the point in starting it again!? We still live with a child that has quite a wild cow's milk protein allergy and she pretty much steals ALL my food so it just doesn't seem safe to have it back in my diet. I don't really mind, I have found some absolute dairy free treats and being vegan is more mainstream now so there are so many more accessible alternatives.

 I think the biggest elephant in the blog here is my mental health. It has been something of a journey and maybe not one I'm fully ready to share yet. Parenting, for me, is hard work- physically, mentally, emotionally... it's just so full on. I knew I might struggle mentally but pregnancy, motherhood and all the hormones that come with it triggered some interesting chemical responses in my brain and I have at points over the last couple of years been quite poorly. I am most definitely in a good space right now, and have been consistently for a while so I felt like this was a good time to start communicating with the world and coming back to life.

So, internet, stay tuned for more updates. Hopefully moving forward posts will be a little more focused, and if you have any content requests let me know here

Welcome back old readers and welcome in new ones!